Fat Friday

So I am so not getting around to working out. I just don't know how to balance exercise in my schedule. Between working and coming home and playing with my little boo-man, It's so hard! And forget about dieting. Breastfeeding has made me ravenous hungry. And I get ill if I don't eat often and a lot. So whats a girl to do?

I've got like 22 days until the family vacay in Gulf Shores. So I guess I will be one of those people who wear t-shirts over their bathing suit the whole time. I really would like to be skinty (yeah it's a word) but I just don't know if it is an option for me at this time.

I will still try to lose weight but I just have decided to be realistic about my goals, and not beat myself up over not loosing it super fast. That is for Hollywood types and not me. And I am not risking my son's food supply for my own vanity. It will happen when it happens. And that's fine with me. Until then I can look at old pics of what I looked like and remember the good ole times.

Why Flamingos?

Like our new digs? My sis designed all this cuteness for us. "But Jen, why flamingos?" Well honestly if you are really close to Ron and I, you would know without asking and more than likely had your yard "flocked" by us.

See when I met Ron, I hadn't given a single thought to pink flamingos in years. Then I meet him and he has this prized tacky yard art flamingo, you know the kind that you commonly find outside a trailer. (AKA mobile home)  And even though Ron owning pink plastic flamingos wasn't the weirdest thing I learned he collected, I still thought it was bizarre that this grown ass man who never even lived in a trailer had one. And then I met Ron's college friends and learned that the pink flamingo was the star of many drunken night's photo shoots. It was kinda his thing. Ron was known around his group of friends as the guy who parties with pink plastic flamingos. You gotta admit, It kinda works. Well you just have to know him. Trust me it works for him.

So fast forward a few years down the road, my mom had a birthday coming up and we were trying to think of something to do to surprise her. And I had heard of those folks you could hire to flock your friends for birthdays and such. But it was kinda expensive, and they only  left them up for about an hour or something weird like that. So I started searching the internet to see if we could buy some and do it ourselves.

And that is exactly what we did. See our flock? That's grandpa in the back, mom and dad and 50 babies. We have gotten several people with our flock. So that's why the flamingos. When people think of us, they think of flamingos. This last pic is from our friend's wedding. 

photo courtesy of Camille Campbell

Let's play dress up

Just let me vent a while.

So I know I am overweight. I realize I am carrying 30 extra pounds since pregnancy. I am aware. No amount of double takes and stares of disbelief and snarky comments will make me more aware. I get it.

What I DON'T get is why some folks have no class or how some folks mommas just didn't raise them right. How does someone (especially a female) not know that its not cool to make comments about another female's weight? Similarly, how do you NOT know that it's not cool to make comments about a pregnant or postpartum lady's weight? HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW?

OK so when you come up to me and make the "What happened to you?" look and make comments about how fat I am, the first thing I am going to think about you is A) You have no class B) you are ignorant C) your mother must not have raised you right. Because seriously, if you know I just had a baby, then you KNOW "what happened?" to me. And seriously, who does that? Trash that's who. And that's what I think anyone who has done this to me is. I may joke around with you at the time when you say these offensive things to me. But I secretly think you are trash.

And with the exception of maybe one person, I still weigh less or about the same as the people who say these things and wear the same size or smaller clothes. So why waste your energy trying to knock me down a notch? You think it really makes their day to know they have hurt someone's feelings?  I seriously have never said anything nasty to any of these people (some I don't even know).Yet, people think it is OK to come up to me and just let anything slip out.

And I am not one of those people who say "I have no idea why people pick on me?" and really kinda deserve it. (Kate Gosselin comes to mind). I am nice to everyone. Seriously nice, cause my momma raised me right. "If you don't have something nice to say, then say nothing at all." I will only talk about you behind your back to my family and Carley after you have done something to offend me.

Just Sayin, Jen

Eighteen Week Photo

Daddy's Unnatural Breastfeeding Knowledge

Let me begin this story by notifying you that this is Ron posting.  I have never posted before and always let Jen play on the blog.  Becoming a father has been a wonderful experience for me I love my little man very much and I am learning so many new things everyday because of him.  As most of you know Jen has been breastfeeding since Evan was born.  If you would have asked me a year ago to tell you everything I know about breastfeeding this would be my answer:  I know that your boobs get huge and it's the best way to feed your baby.  Yesterday I discovered that I now know a little too much.  While shopping with Jen we went to Target to buy a bigger breast shield for her pump.  Of course they did not have a big enough size so we went to Toys R us to get one that would work.  Wouldn't you know they did not have the right one either.  So I decided to call Babies R us before we drove across town and risk them not having it either.  This was very embarrassing for me being a man calling a store and asking if they had a certain size breast shield for a breast pump. To any man reading this blog this is worse than the dreaded tampon run.  The worst part of the phone call was after the clerk went to check she proceeded to tell me that medium is the largest size they make.  As I was explaining to her that they make a large and extra large shield I realized I knew a little too much about breastfeeding.  If anyone is wondering I called the baby store in Jackson today and found the right size shield. And yes it was the highlight of my day and I was way too excited to get off work and go by the store to buy it.

Fat Fridays

So I didn't gain or lose weight this week. I stayed exactly the same. So I guess thats good news and bad news at the same time.

But can we please talk about boobs for a second? While some of my pre preg pants can fit now. Almost none of my pre preg shirts can fit. And it's because of the ridiculously large boobs I have been "blessed" with since Evan was born.

 I was shopping for Spanx for the wedding the other day, and the lady measured me for a new bra while she was at it. Before pregnancy I wore a 36 C or D when I gained a few. Now, I am seriously embarrassed to  say is a DDD or G. Isn't that horrible? I didn't know that a G even existed. No one wants to be that big! Even Pamela Anderson didn't decide to go that big. I wonder what size Dolly Parton is? Probably isn't as big as the new me. I hate them.

But every one says they will go down when I am done breast feeding. But what if they don't? What am I gonna do with them? I hated the ladies when I was a D. Now I despise them. When ever I lose weight the boobs are the last to go down and the first place I gain weight as well.


These are my boobs when I got them down to a B. I miss you, small boobies.

What's Behind that Door?

So my birthday is on Mother's Day this year. I know, cool right? My first Mother's Day and 30th birthday wrapped in one fun package!

Anyway, back to the door. OK, so the other day Ron was talking to my mom about....well I don't know, whatever they talk about. Who knows, I wasn't paying attention. Then Ron started asking her a question in his own little covert way. Well my mom didn't pick up on his cryptic question cause she was just like "Huh? What are you talking about?" To which Ron said "Never mind" 

Well then, that's when I started paying attention. Because I know Ron well enough to know when he is hiding something. So I started grilling him to tell me what he was asking my mom. And finally he said that he asked her if she looked in the closet in our garage over the weekend while she was checking on our pets. And I was like "Why are you asking my mom about the closet?" Turns out Ron has my birthday present in this closet. And it is KILLING me to not simply go and open that dang door and see what it is!

Plus, I am so glad that my mom was too dumb to pick up on his top secret tone because I was totally going to clean out that closet Monday or Tuesday. (Sorry Mom, but you can act like a typical dumb blonde at times, especially when you've had a glass of wine, As a matter of fact I think you were drinking wine when Ron was talking to you, so there you go)

That's mom and my baby bro, See the wine glass? They both were drinking.

Where was I? Oh yeah, So the only thing I told Ron I wanted was an ipad. But ever since the first time we heard of them Ron has been telling me that they are dumb because it's basically an over sized itouch, which I already have. And he thinks they are dumb because A) it only has wi-fi right now B) he doesn't think it can play quicktime videos (like the itouch) C) it doesn't hook up to a printer and D) only comes with 16G of memory.

But I don't care, I want it. Spoken like a true brat hu? 

I love you ipad! Even if I don't get you I will always love you. Ron has always been such a good gift giver. I'm sure I will get something that I "needed" before my love affair with the ipad started.

Giraffes

I love giraffes. And so does Evan. Well at least we assume he does. I painted a series of animal paintings for Evan's room before he was born. They were a lion, giraffe, and a monkey. I placed them over his changing table so he could have something to look at while I changed him.

I never expected for him to like the giraffe the most, I actually kinda pegged him for a lion lover. But when ever since that first diaper change, he stares at that giraffe. So much that we named him "Friend" and whenever it was changing time I would say "There's your friend! Say Hey Friend!" And he would instantly look at Friend and smile.So now I am obsessed. Any giraffe toy or baby item in giraffe print I can get my hands on, is his. I just can't help myself. It's just so stinkin cute!

Giraffe Mat:

Giraffe Mobile:

Giraffe Book

Giraffe Play Yard

Giraffe Teething Toy

Giraffe Growth Chart

Giraffe Picture Frame

What if when he grows up he tells me "I've always hated giraffes, I would stare at them to make them go away!" Wouldn't that be awful?

Read this...

THIS is a posting from my sister about her experience at the wedding this weekend. She was the photographer for the wedding and had a pretty funny story. So read it!

McFatty Monday

So I didn't make my goal for my friend's wedding. And I didn't weigh in on Friday for Fat Friday. I was gonna weigh in Sunday when I got back in town, but you know how that goes. Oh well I can start working towards my new goal: summer vacay May 22nd, Gulf Shores. Oh Lordy A BATHING SUIT!

Anyway I weighed in on the trusty Wii Fit who helps really make me feel like a fat ass. Every time I step on the balance board to weigh in she says "OH!" Like I might break her with my "obesity" as she puts it. And the 3 lbs I lost last week, there back plus .2. See I told ya.

Oh well I wasn't doing so great towards the end of the week with my eating. And the wedding, I blew it all out the water. But the wedding was way fun! Even though I wasn't the skinniest bridesmaid. Actually I was standing next to a 7 month preggo (who was totally cute) and we looked the same size in the pictures.

But here's  pic of my Mii. She's still fat.

Seventeen Week Photo

That's My Moma!

This is my mom singing. She has always sang and has a youtube site with videos of her singing and playing her original music. She has hundreds of followers from all over the world. One of her followers (From Italy!) emailed her about collaborating for a song. He sent her a clip of a guitar solo he wrote and told her to write words for it.  He gave her complete control lyrically because he said he loves the way she writes. They then sent it to another fella in Oklahoma to do the bass, electric guitar and percussion. So this is what they came up with. The Art of Being a Child. 

Sixteen Week Photo

This is what is stuck in my head today:

We watch the Disney Channel in the mornings and this cute cartoon comes on and is totally stuck in my head today. The weird thing is that a fellow employee is the reason it became stuck in my head. She watches it with her boy and was singing it at work the other day. Ever since then it has been stuck in my head without any hope of ever getting out.

Love, Jen

OMG I forgot about fat friday

So if that is not a testament of how easily I can fall off the wagon! I did eat really good most of the week and walked a few times around the block. I did however, weigh in with my wii fit, and ta-dah 3 lbs lost. Now before we get all excited, I can easily loose or gain 3-5 lbs in one day. Always have been able to do that. So to me no big deal. I could weigh in tomorrow and be 5 lbs heavier. Thats just how my body chooses to roll. Plus, my current weight is still the exact same as my 4th day postpartum weight.

So that's that. I must have started Fat Friday on a really fat day. So no closer to looking fantabulous next weekend at our friends Chris and Char's Wedding. Just hope the Spanx hold up. Oh well, my next goal is to look good on our first family vacay in over 10 years. We are headed to Gulf Shores May 22. So with a new goal set maybe I can bring back the focus.

So this is the pic I leave you with today. Cause this is what I was really focused on yesterday.

Chillin with the kids

My niece and nephew were in town visiting their dad for spring break. They got to spend the night with us last night and the day with Evan and me. Since they have already seen How to train your Dragon, we decided to go to Chuck E Cheese's. AKA Hell. Since it was a school day it actually wasn't that bad. The kids seemed to have a good time. Since Gabi can read now, she read the token dispenser and came up to me and said "Just give me your credit card and I can buy some more tokens, it takes credit cards" To which I promptly replied "Have you lost your mind?"

Also,

Christian learned to hustle some kid out of his tokens. So when his tattle tale sister Gabi came and told me that Christian was being disciplined by "that boy's mom" I knew I had to do something. So I made Christian give "that boy" his tickets that he got from the tokens he hustled. Smooth move Hu? My sis thought so. Anyway, we had fun today, thanks for hanging with Baby Evan and Auntie.

I want my mommy

Whenever Evan does this:

I always think of that lion in the Disney movie Robin Hood.

See the resemblance?

OshKosh B'gosh

Evan loves to stand up, so I couldn't resist the opportunity to get a photo of him in his new overalls. He's not standing alone hes leaning his back up against the rocking horse but it totally looks like he is standing unassisted.

Ode to Patty

I can honestly say this lady is one of my most favorite people in the world. She is my charge nurse and her name is Patty. We have soooo much fun together at work that it should be illegal. In fact some of the stuff we do at work probably IS illegal. J/K. (Or am I?) but seriously J/K.

Love ya Patty!
Jen

Love is...

Have you ever hear someone say about their child "I love every hair on his/her head"? I get it now. When Evan was born I noticed some fuzz on his left ear. I thought it was the usual fuzz over all babies bodies called lanugo. I don't know if it is or not but he still has it, and I love it. And honestly I might be kinda sad if it ever disappears. So I literally love every hair on his head.

XOXO~
Jen and Ron

Ron and Wii Dance

Fifteen Week Photo

Evan's First Easter

XOXO~
Jen and Ron

The Wii Fit Story

So I couldn't post my fat picture. It was too embarrassing. I swear I have a mental disorder that is the exact opposite of anorexia. You know how whenever anorexics look in the mirror all they see is a fat person? Well I'm a fat person and whenever I look into the mirror, all I see is "Hey...Not too shabby" But then I see a picture of myself and Good Lordy! I know cameras add like 140 lbs but this is ridiculous!

When my friend Lindsey and I agreed to do FatA$$ Fridays we discovered that we both had Wii fit and decided to post pictures of our progress on Wii. And while reading her post from her Fat Friday, I suddenly remembered a funny story......


Ron got me Wii Fit the day it came out for my birthday present. I was so excited cause it was finally out and I was going to lose a little weight. Well I didn't waste a minute, I put it straight in and started playing. OK, so the first thing you do is pick your character (Mii) that you will be playing with. As you can guess, I had already spent several hours creating my super cute petite blonde character.Then you set up your Wii Balance board and weigh in.

This is my Mii.


Now let me just tell ya. I am 5 foot nothing and was a gymnast for 15 years. I have a lot more muscle mass than most folks. Which in turn makes me weigh more. I know this. And I know that when calculated, my BMI is never going to be accurate. I know it just sounds like an excuse but it's the truth.

So there I am, weighing in, all excited to have my new game. Then I see my cute little character on screen jumping off her Wii balance board and waiting for her weigh in results as well. Then the worst thing ever happened. She swelled up like a blowfish! The Wii calculated my BMI based on my height and age and adjusted her to look more "accurate." Watch this video. This is what it did. Although more extreme this time around.


Now I am used to BMI calculators saying I am over weight. But never in a million years, did I expect this GAME to ruin my cute little character and make her fat! An emotional wave took over me and next thing you know I am doubled over on my Wii balance board sobbing! I couldn't help it. "Now my birthday present was calling me fat? I give up!"

Ron came running out of the kitchen not knowing what to do. "I didn't mean to get you a present that is going to make you cry!" Then I started laughing, cause it WAS ridiculous and I knew it was going to do that. The Wii and I eventually made up and I lost 30 lbs. But to this day I still think the game acts a little smug when I have to weigh in.


That is Evan's Mii on the new Wii Fit Plus.

FatASS Friday

So in honor of McFatty Mondays over at Heir to Blair (my fav blog) my new friend Lindsey and I are starting a spin-off. FatA$$ Friday. I found her while blogstalking Blair's blog as usual. Actually I was scrolling through her comment section looking for Blair-haters (you know, people who have nothing better to do than to comment mean and hateful things on other people's blogs) Blair has the most faithful followers and if you mess with her, you might jus get hit in tha thoat wit a hamma! Sorry my ghetto side just came out.

Thats me being straight up HOOD.


Anywhoots, Like I was saying, I stumbled across her blog and thought her name was to die for. "Rocking the Minivan" Love it! I read a post on her blog about how she wanted to lose the baby weight and to become a MILF, I found this so hilarious b/c literally just days before I read her post, I had said the exact same thing. Even though my sis thinks its weird, I do. See she takes it too literal, I just meant I wanted to be a hot mama I don't actually want men/boys fantasizing about me nekkid! (Or MAYBE I do! Mwah ha ha ha!)

Ok here's my sister giving the sexy look.

Totally pulls it off Right?

OK now here's me

Take away the cleavage and I'm totally making the "hope no one noticed I just farted" smirk.

OK, Lets focus here. The whole point of this post is to officially kick off FatA$$ Friday. I will be keeping up with my progress and posting it on Fridays. Although Blair is my hero I am too chicken to put my actual weight on here, but I shall take pics and post lbs lost to date. Sorry but some people who know me might find knowing this number so very important to them and I can't live with knowing that my downfalls truly makes someone else's day.

I really really really don't want to take a before picture, but I know how important they are. But like I said earlier, all I can imagine is a group of people laughing and pointing at my before picture. Gawd Here goes........

XOXO~
Jen and Ron

It's time.

So I finally decided that it is time to lose the baby weight. I am finally motivated. I really think it's the change in weather that helped me change my mind. Ron and I are such outdoorsy people and now that I can actually be outside I am inspired. I do have a short term goal already. Our favorite couple in the world, Chris and Charlotte are getting married April 17th. I want to look fantabulous by then. Well actually I really want to be the cutest bridesmaid, but I don't know all the ladies yet. But don't we all secretly want to be the cutest? No? Just me? allllrighty then.

Here's a pic when I wanted to lose weight back in 2008. I was like the Energizer bunny.... I just kept working and working and working and lost lost lost.

I strapped on my heart rate monitor this day and Ron and I rode bikes. By the time we got back to our car I had burned 1000 calories. And here's the thing.... It was fun! It wasn't all that boring monotonous workout crap. Just fun with my man.

I started losing the weight to get ready for my 10 year high school reunion. And I did it. I really felt like the belle of the ball when that weekend rolled around. Here are some pics of that weekend that I think I look particularly skinny in. (NOTE: These pics are only to help motivate me lose the weight again, and only partially narcissistic)

My BFF Windy and I before we met up with our old high school friends


When we got to the party and seeing peeps I haven't seen in 10 years. (P.S. I like this pic cause my face is so thin)


I hadn't seen him in 10 years!! In high school we had every home room together for 4 years!


More pics to inspire me that I can do this again!

thats me in my "skinny jeans" at a fundraiser


Me in my pink scrubs... Oh how I miss them!


Ok that's enough for today. Gotta get the heart rate monitor out and take this big gul for a walk!
Jen