Happy Birthday, Twin (for 2 days only!)

Today is my sister's birthday. And Sunday is mine. I was born in 1980 and she came around and was born the next year in 1981. So for 2 days we are twins, according to my sis. We are very close and were always the best of friends growing up. Even though, if you went back in time to when we were teenagers, neither of us would admit that we were. But at the end of the day we knew we had each others backs. My sister literally had my back this one time......at band camp (J/K, I've just always wanted to say that)

Let's go back to Valentine's Day 7th grade. (My sis was in the 6th grade) And we were riding the bus home from school sitting in the back (thats where the cool kids sat, ya know) eating our candy and minding our own business. When this dork (who sat in the front) started trowing those little conversation hearts at us. After a while of trying to ignoring him, he continued to throwing candy at us and I'd had enough.

So like any 7th grade girl would do, I calmly walked to the front of the bus and smeared the chocolate that I had strategically melted in my hands, all over his face. And then, I calmly returned to my seat in the back of the bus. Now I know it was immature and my mom DID raise me right, but he was so annoying and would not stop! Plus I was in 7th grade. Not exactly the peak of my maturity.

Well that really set this little punk off, because unbeknownst to me, this kid was wearing a brand new shirt his moma had just bought him. So there he sat, just fuming and contemplating his revenge. My sister and I both knew that our stop was before his, and  inevitably we would have to pass him to get off the bus. So we set up our exit strategy. I was armed with the only thing i had: pink nail polish. The plan was: if he came after me, I would splash him with the nail polish and when he looked down to see what I had thrown at him, I would take off the bus. But Camille's exit strategy was way more gangsta than mine......

When the bus driver got to our stop we stayed close together and tried to get off as fast as we could. But as I was passing his seat that lil freak jumped up and somehow managed to get  me in a choke-hold! I tried to splash him with my nail polish, but the effect turned out very different than what I had planned in my head. Instead of spraying him with polish it just kinda dripped on him.

So anyway there he was, choking me. Well the dumb-ass forgot that my sister was behind him.  So without missing a beat, she exclaimed "LET GO OF MY SISTER!!!" And bopped him on the head with her clarinet case, enabling me to get away. He then went after her when she tried to get past him, but she whacked him again when he got a hold of her neck.

I didn't think anything else of the matter until the following Monday when I was pulled from my class to go to the Principal's office. (Remember how scary it was to be called to the Principal's office? Going to the Principal's office, to me was the worst thing ever. Everyone in class would all say in unison "aahh woo wooooooooo!") So anyway, I got to his office and waves of nausea hit me when I walked up and saw my sister, my parents, another parental looking unit, and that punk-ass kid all standing there with the principal. I knew we were in deep you know what.

So long story short, we were banned from the bus, and my parents had to reimburse his mom for the ruined shirt, plus we were grounded for like ever. But you know what, my sister had my back. And to this day she'd whoop anyone else's ass if they were truly trying to hurt her family, or die trying. So this blog post is for you sis, Love ya! Hope you have a great birthday today!

P.S. We were not hellians growing up, in fact this was my first and only fight, and trip to the dreaded Principal's office. Plus, did you see anywhere in my post about how the bus driver tried to stop any of this? No you didn't, because he just sat there laughing and promoting student on student violence.

I wish I could remember that kids name and look him up on facebook to get his recollection of this same story, I bet it would be funny (that is, if he doesn't have a brain injury from my sister's clarinet.)

Look who came to dinner

Ron, Evan, and I went to dinner tonight. All you can eat seafood buffet! Ron's idea. It was a small hole-in-the-wall kind of place. I don't think the place even had a real name, just "Seafood Buffet". But the real problem was staring me right in the face, literally. The walls were covered with decapitated deer heads. This lil guy watched me eat my catfish. He made sure I cleaned my plate.

Couple of memorable moments at the ole buffet: 1) I guess I was so baffled over the restaurant's lack of name that when the waitress asked what I would like for dinner, No Lie, I said "I'll have the Catfood special" Umm really? I ordered Catfood? We all cracked up and I desperately hoped the little girl wouldn't actually bring me catfood. She was kinda ditsy. She asked if Evan was going to need something off the menu or if we brought something from home.
2) Ron of course ordered the buffet, and he found this:

Yeah, FROGLEGS! G-R-O-S-S!!!! He only took a couple of bites because of my complete hysteria and disgust he kinda lost the urge to eat them. Thank goodness. I really hope my kid doesn't inherit his dad's adventurous palate.